In high school I was always given a Subject Outline. A list of must-know's and must-do's if I wanted a fighting chance to achieve that ultimate mark. I was in the shower the other day (don't mistake my continued referrals to my showers as coming from flirtatious incentives, it's where I do my best thinking) and I thought about the biggest "mark" or the ultimate outcome we want out of this thing we call Life. My conclusion is
Happiness.
Now don't be quick to object and let me explain myself. Trust me, this outcome is the same for every single one of you.
Situation #1: You're a money gobbling, diamond desiring, leech like gold digger. (Can you tell I'm not a fan of these people?) You're saying Hey Brooke! I really don't give a toss about happiness. I only care for money, wrinkled testicles and deception. To that I say, Trophy Wife? If you're doing what you love most (in this case cheating, lying and stealing) you will be happy. It's in your genetic makeup that you enjoy this way of life so whether or not it's someone else's is insignificant. You are going to be happy and it's your "mark".
Situation #2: You are a bitter old man/woman who has a permanent irritable look on your face and you disapprove of today's youth. You sit me down and begin your lecture on how you couldn't care less for happiness. That all you care about is respect, pride and honour. Well nan/pap If that's your thing your "mark" 60 years or so ago would have been to save yourself for a partner with Nazi like qualities. You would've had 2 beautiful children and home schooled them making sure they came out of College well groomed, well learned and virgins.
They would respect you and answer to your every command
Make you beam with pride when the sheet showed traces of red on their honeymoon
And they'd honour you and carry on the family tradition by producing 4 more "perfect" offspring.
Either way, you will be happy. A plan you devised years ago paid back and you are Happy with your endless supply of pride, respect and honour.
Situation #3: You are a tree hugging hippy. Well for starters I'm going to ask you what you plan to achieve by chaining yourself to a tree and smoking dope, and then clonk you across the head with a wooden club. There is no way you can be happy being a hippy. Despite your hatred for materialistic beings like myself you wouldn't be able to say whole heartedly that money and finer things haven't ever crossed your mind because that would be LYING. And the Green Gods should strike you with thistles.
Convincing enough yet? Great I'll keep moving.
Now excluding those above I've produced a Subject Outline and applied it to Life. This is the only way regular people will be Happy.
1. Family/Friends
2. Knowledge
3. Career/Money
4. Love (will require the use of trial and error)
Numero Uno. Family is not surprisingly the first element of our Outline. A family provides support and stability all of your life. It doesn't have to be big. It could just be you, Mum and little Sarah. You and Dad. You, Nan and Pop. A family gives you something to come home to even if you live a million miles away from eachother. Technology does wonders so you can sob over the tragic loss of your most recent love or how much you hate your job to Mum on the phone, and she'll listen intently. Not like your friends who could also listen, but you should be aware have problems of their own. If I've learnt anything it's that family, regardless of the pain and frustration you put them through, will be there 'til the end. I know this because I've had many hiccups with just about every member in my fam bam, but I love the reconciliation bit. I love how it takes a tiny gesture or a certain look to show that all is forgotten and truly forgiven. And I think that's amazing.
Now friends are tricky. I'm not exactly at a very good point in my life in terms of friendships. Fresh out of high school I'm just beginning to witness the falling outs because of say personal aspirations, change in character or direction. I guess that means that friendship's that little bit more challenging. I'd like to say that my choice in friends has fortunately left me with a handful of specials that I hold dear, and it has, but I've also had my fair share of friendship drama.
Nevertheless Friends are vital. There are things we'd rather share with people who aren't family but through our eyes, should be. Oh and you'll need friends of all types. The funny one, the crazy one, the listener, the sentimental one...all of them. Don't call yourself a fraud because you act differently around each one. If I've come to realise anything it's that one person has so many different sides to them. We can't be funny or crazy or overly sentimental all the time, but we do need to release these inner characters every so often. This is what friends are for. They let you be the person you are, the person you wake up feeling.
2. So you didn't complete the twelfth grade and go on to Uni/College. So what?
Knowledge (although I think is most easily acquired through school) doesn't have to originate from textbooks. Too many people have proved this and although I'm not bothered to Google some evidence I know for a fact Richard Branson left school when he was 15.
And he owns a couple of islands
And a couple of cars and women to
Have you caught on yet? What I'm trying to say is that we need knowledge like air. We acquire it without being aware most of the time. It's sort of like how I used to enjoy watching Playschool as a youngan and then grew up to learn it didn't teach me a goddamn thing. Just kidding it taught me the difference between a square, circle, arch and diamond. Set me up for the future it did.
Without our minds continuously robbing knowledge from everywhere we are but nothing. It induces growth and prepares us for the challenges ahead.
3. Step two leads to this important step. I believe it is essential to have a career. Now let me see dictionary.com defines Career
as "an occupation or profession, esp. one requiring special training, followed as one's lifework"
Who gives what dictionary.com says. My definition of a career is not an occupation but YOUR profession that will have you up every morning without fail (and not because you'll be fired on the spot if you arrive a minute late). It will be a newfound love of yours incorporating all the elements of things you not only do best but love most. I know I'm not crazy when I say people who enter fields they are passionate about work efficiently and enthusiastically.
Then there's the argument of whether passion will pay the bills. I believe it will.
Don't say something stupid like 'What if I enjoy collecting walnuts?' because I will take you as seriously as I did my high school librarian who told me Jane Austen was a good read...
We all aspire to be the best. Our ancestors bestowed upon us the qualities labelled jealousy and competitiveness which means in all of us is the capability to fight for something we really want. That's what it's all about. Being the best. And if you're passionate about something you'll want to be the best, and you will be. So you've got yourself a win-win. You'll pay the bills, the school fees, the LV for the lady AND you'll love every minute of it.
4. We now come to the most...well how exactly can I explain love? Let's just say we've arrived at the most painful, confusing, tricky, mentally draining, physically exhausting element of the Outline. Some are probably baffled right now. "How can you say that? Love is the most beautiful thing God created!"
Love IS beautiful
God didn't create a thing
And I said it because I'm a realist
Love is capable of some strange stuff. It can toy with your feelings, alter your body image, change your mood almost instantly, forget sleep even existed, make you do things you thought you weren't capable of, take risks you thought you never would and the list is near endless.
Right now I'm debating whether love is optional (an elective in Outline terms) and have come to the conclusion that it's not. I think it's just as imperative as those above. I was watching The Bachelorette the other day (ha-ha yes I know I'm happy to receive your criticisms on my bad taste of reality t.v) and the bachelorette said something ridiculously corny it was almost too embarrassing to listen but I've got to give it to her she's pretty much spot on.
"A life without love is a life without happiness." It's as simple as that. I've met some strange people in my lifetime and Dad's friend Michael was one of them. Michael, a strong Jehovah's witness saw commitment and sex as no more than a means of procreation. He didn't have children (he told me he'd have them in the next lifetime - no comment) but he had a partner who believed in the same thing he did. While he blabbered on about the importance of the Bible I was pondering over whether this man was mentally stable or did he just have a different totally whacked out understanding of love. And then I really looked at Michael and his wife. They never touched, their conversations were almost robotic and they didn't have that aura I believe love gives off and I felt sort of sorry for them both. Just my perception though.
Love is crazy but it has to be. That's what makes it so enriching, enticing and so remarkably addictive. It's on the Outline because it needs to be. It's harsh but so very worth it. To look at someone and believe the impossible possible is evidence in itself that Love isn't just an emotion but something much greater. A higher order almost. Don't get me wrong the process in finding and then experiencing love makes a a bullet through the head seem pleasant but I think that's just part of the whole package. When something makes you feel almost too happy, when you want to waste your time on thoughts of it, when it makes life seem just that little bit better it can't be any old something. It must be worth it, for better or for worse.
There it is, my outline for life's pursuit of happiness. You have to excel at all of them. Goodluck!
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